Reflection Time


It's so easy to get caught up in everyday routines and it's easy when life is moving at a fast pace to lose sight of all the little things that matter most . I try often to remind myself to slow down and not take for granted what's in front of me, but none of us are perfect and a lot of the times we do accidently take things/life for granted.  It's the little things that mean so much that can so easily become just a routine and when life gets chaotic it's easy to just wisp them under the rug or push them aside because we can just do it/say it later; or maybe it's just so routine we forget to do it or we do it and don't even know we did, I'm not sure which is worse. It was a quick slap back into reality when I received a phone call from Alan saying he had been in a motorcycle accident; it took me back to one of the worst memories I have. It's so cliche to say that at any given moment your life can change forever; and as lightly as you may take it, that's the reality we face everyday. I know what it's like having the goodbye you just said be the last one you'll ever get to say to someone.

 As a child I listened to the heavy dreaded knocks on the front door only to watch my parents open it and be faced with every parents worst fear. I can still feel it like it's happening right now, all of the emotion from that night is still present within me and I don't believe it will ever go anywhere. I knew when I got the phone call Alan was obviously okay (alive and banged up), but it surfaced my ultimate fear; losing someone you love unexpectedly. It's probably a fear most of us have but don't really think about or haven't yet had to deal with. I realize that death is a constant variable in our universe and we don't have much control over it. I don't think that living in fear and avoiding risks is the answer (even though the less risks you take might improve your lifespan), but I also feel like we can't go around thinking we're invincible to the world that surrounds us. That's exactly why every time I say goodbye,  every time I say I love you to Alan (or any other loved one) I say it with a full and conscious heart. 

It's important to me that I take time to reflect on what's present in my life and make sure I tell the ones I care for how much they mean to me. If something we're to ever happen to me unexpectedly; I want my husband, my daughter (as well as any future child of mine),my family, and friends to know how much I truly do love each one of them and that I will miss them dearly. I hope that after reading this you will take a mental note and make sort of a self-promise to make time (even if it's not all the time) especially when life is moving fast to just slow down for a second and embrace everything you are grateful for in your life, most importantly the ones you love. 

Thanks for reading some of my thoughts and feelings. 

P.S I took the picture in St. Augustine my favorite place ever I always see this man there. 



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